


Abandon Ship

by Rinkafic



Series: John Loves Rodney [10]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 08:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkafic/pseuds/Rinkafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney decides that leaving would be the best thing for everyone.</p><p>This was my entry for 2011's McShep Match.  Prompt: Abandon Ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abandon Ship

“Rodney, what does this mean?” John waved a data pad under Rodney’s nose.

Reluctantly looking up from his laptop, Rodney snapped, “What does what mean? Stop jiggling it around so I can see what it is!”

“I know what a transfer order is, Rodney. I want to know why I have it.”

Rodney crossed his arms and gave Sheppard his ‘you are such a dumbass’ look. After five years, Sheppard knew that look very well. “You have it because you are the one responsible for signing off on all the paperwork. Don’t tell me this is the first one you’ve gotten?”

“McKay.”

“Sheppard.”

“Come on, Rodney! Why?”

“Why, what?” Rodney looked away and spun back towards his computer. That was when Sheppard decided that Rodney was apparently trying to make some point that he just wasn’t getting.

“We’re not on the same page here.”

“I’m on the ‘my transfer to Home World Security is being signed off so I can start Monday’page - why what page are you on?” Rodney was actively avoiding John’s stare now.

“You’re leaving Atlantis?”

“That is why I submitted a transfer request, yes.”

“But… we finally got a deployment date; we’re going back to Pegasus.”

Rodney kept his eyes fixed on his screen. “Zelenka should be a shoe-in for Chief Scientist; I wrote him a glowing recommendation.”

It was frustrating John that Rodney wouldn’t meet his eye. “Damn it! Look at me Rodney!”

With a heavy sigh, Rodney turned on his stool and met John’s glare. John took a step back at the anger he saw there in his friend’s eyes.

“Tell me you’re leaving. Right here, to my face.”

“I’m leaving, Sheppard.”

“You’d leave Atlantis?”

“It’s just a place, Sheppard.”

“You’d leave me?” the words spilled out before John consciously thought about them. When Rodney didn’t answer, John prodded, “Rodney?”

“I have to do this, Sheppard. Please, just go.”

The data pad suddenly seemed to weight a ton; John’s hand fell to his side with the pad dangling loosely in his grip. He walked away as Rodney began typing on the keyboard. He looked back when he got to the door and said in an uncharacteristically lost voice, “But, you loved Atlantis.”

Rodney stopped typing and looked straight ahead for a moment before turning to look at Sheppard. “I loved someone else more. But now I know nothing is ever going to come of that, and I just can’t go back to the way things were. I have to let the relationship go, for everyone’s sake. Goodbye, Sheppard.” He turned back to his work and resumed pounding on the keys.

 

When Sheppard finally left the lab, Rodney pushed back from the work table and jumped to his feet. He began pacing, nervous energy making him unable to stand still. He had to do this. He had meant what he had said to John; he couldn’t go back to the way things were before.

Jennifer had been the one to point it out to him, right after she gave him the ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ speech. She had said she couldn’t compete with John Sheppard anymore for Rodney’s affection. Jennifer claimed Rodney loved John more than he could ever love her. She told him to figure out what he really wanted so he could have a good life and then threw him out of her apartment.

It took him a few hours of walking around aimlessly and pondering his now ex-girlfriend’s words to reach the same conclusion the astute Doctor Keller had come to; he loved Sheppard. He also determined that the stupid regulations of the US military were the reason Sheppard had never said anything about whatever feelings he had for Rodney.

So, when DADT was abolished, Rodney expected Sheppard to speak up. When he didn’t, Rodney dropped a few subtle (for him) hints to give Sheppard an opening. He mentioned how the Atlantis military guys could finally get involved with their scientists, if they wanted to. Sheppard had merely grunted and asked Rodney to pass the salt.

Things didn’t change between them; Sheppard still treated Rodney the same way he always had, as a buddy. Rodney’s pride wouldn’t let him make the first move. He couldn’t bear it if Sheppard pushed him away or got offended, or worse, hauled off and punched him in the face for coming on to him.

The transfer request had been his way of forcing the issue. He knew it had to go through Sheppard’s office before it was processed. He also knew Sheppard was doing his own paperwork again, since Lorne had been temporarily drafted to lead SG-11 while the team’s regular CO was on maternity leave. Rodney had been expecting the confrontation that had just happened. He had engineered it.

He hadn’t expected Sheppard to just give up and walk out.

Now what?

“Oh, crap.” He stopped pacing, ran a hand over his face and stared at the doorway. He’d just transferred himself out of the best job he’d ever had.

 

 

Sheppard stalked through the nearly deserted corridors. Atlantis was running with a minimal staff, though people were slowly drifting back as the date of deployment loomed closer. The few marines he passed gave him a wide berth. He must look as pissed off as he felt.

He found himself standing in front of the doors to the ‘jumper bay. Waving a hand over the door release, he went in and paced around the wide open area for a while. Then he stomped up the ramp of his favorite ‘jumper and threw himself into the pilot’s seat to sulk. He was in his favorite place to brood.

Rodney was leaving.

John could not imagine Atlantis without McKay.

Thinking back over what Rodney had said, he tried to make some sense of it. He’d said he loved someone else more. Everyone knew Keller wasn’t going back to Pegasus. But John hadn’t thought Rodney was that torn up over the doctor after the relationship had ended. Was he staying on Earth to try to win her back?

Atlantis was going back to Pegasus and Rodney was staying in Washington.

But Rodney had said he ‘had to let things go for everyone’s sake’ and that was what was confusing John. He couldn’t see the correlation between letting go of Keller and Rodney staying behind on Earth when Atlantis weighed anchor.

Unless there was someone going with the Atlantis expedition that Rodney had the need to distance himself from? Rodney had been angry when John had just seen him, but John had chalked that up to annoyance at having his work interrupted. He had seemed irritated for quite some time, now that John thought about it. All this time, John had been attributing Rodney’s bad mood to him just being Rodney and upset at working with a skeleton crew.

It was him. Rodney was pissed off at him.

He said he had loved someone else more. John hadn’t exactly been saddened to hear about the breakup. In fact, he had been rather jubilant to have his friend back from the land of Committed Happiness. He knew he and Rodney were not the best at expressing their feelings, and all this time John had been a bad friend and Rodney had been stewing over it.

He couldn’t go to Pegasus without Rodney. He had to fix this. Atlantis needed McKay. John needed Rodney McKay.

Climbing out of the pilot’s seat, he made his way out of the jumper bay and back to the labs. Surprisingly, Rodney wasn’t there. Confounded, he stood in the doorway, staring at the empty and silent lab. If he let Rodney do this, stay behind on Earth, the lab would be like it was at that moment; empty and lifeless.

Tapping his comm., John barked, “McKay, where are you?”

The reply was terse, “In my quarters, why?”

“Stay there, I need to talk to you.”

 

Rodney clicked off his radio. Had it worked? Sheppard was pissed, Rodney could tell that from his voice. The question now was if Sheppard’s anger was going to work for or against Rodney?”

The door chime roused him from his nervous and meandering train of thought. “Come in!”

As soon as the door opened, Sheppard strode in and demanded. “Are you pissed at me?”

“Yes,” Rodney answered honestly because, well, he was.

The answer seemed to take the wind out of Sheppard’s sails. His step faltered and he said more quietly, “Oh. Well, I guess I deserve it, I’ve been a lousy friend.”

Rodney crossed his arms and scowled. Since John seemed more apt to talk in the face of Rodney’s anger, he decided to stick with it. “Sometimes, yeah, you are.”

“I’m sorry. Listen, I know you cared a lot for Jennifer. I wasn’t exactly supportive; I was probably a little too gleeful about the breakup. I’m sorry.”

John still didn’t get it? Rodney rolled his eyes. “This isn’t about Jennifer.”

Continuing on as if he hadn’t heard, John said in a rush, “Atlantis needs you, please don’t abandon us… huh? This isn’t about Jennifer?”

Rodney moved closer, catching and holding John’s eyes. “No.”

“You said this was about you loving someone more than Atlantis,” his confusion was evident in John’s face and voice.

Rodney sighed and decided he had to enact Plan C. He held a hand up and asked, “Can I just do one thing, just once, and get a free pass on a punch in the face for it?”

“What?”

“Just trust me; I need to just do this once,” Rodney moved another step closer, took a deep breath and braced himself for the swing of Sheppard’s fist. The last time he’d tried this with a straight guy; he’d gotten a broken nose and lost a friendship.

“Okay,” John shrugged and looked more confused as Rodney stepped right into his personal space, their faces only inches apart. “I trust you, Rodney. What does this have to do with you abandoning me?”

“Everything,” Rodney whispered hoarsely and licked his lips. He clasped his hands to John’s cheeks and held his face still as he pressed his lips to John’s. Sheppard didn’t react for a few beats, and then he was suddenly kissing Rodney back.

When Rodney pulled back, Sheppard chased him, caught his lips and deepened the kiss. Breaking for air, Rodney laughed happily and rubbed his thumbs near the corners of John’s eyes. “So, uhm, no punch?”

“Only if you persist in this asinine plan to abandon ship, McKay,” with Rodney’s hands still framing his face, John tilted his head and stared at him. “McKay, was this a test?”

“Uhm, yeah, I guess it was, sort of.”

“I should be pissed.”

“Are you?”

John shrugged. “I’m too confused to be pissed.”

“That’s a start, I hate making out with people that are pissed off at me.” Rodney leaned in and kissed John again.

Suddenly John wasn’t kissing him back anymore. Just a few moments after Rodney realized that, John grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back. He appeared astonished. “Wait, wait, wait - you said you loved someone more than Atlantis. Did you mean… me?”

“You are an idiot. Yes, I meant you.”

Sheppard stood there, just staring at Rodney for a full minute. Then he smiled, stepped close to Rodney, leaned in so that their breath intermingled and said, “Best news I’ve had in months. Transfer request denied,” and he sealed it with a kiss.

 

The End


End file.
